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Jokes - Funny & Beautiful Pictures / CATURDAY
« on: September 17, 2016, 09:56:41 PM »


Jokes - Funny & Beautiful Pictures / SMILE
« on: May 28, 2016, 07:03:15 PM »


You will live longer


Jokes - Funny & Beautiful Pictures / JOKES WRITTEN
« on: May 27, 2016, 01:39:18 AM »
I am the Boss

This man was talking to a group of men at the office and he said,"In
my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done, when the
cooking is done and when the dishes are washed."

One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?"

The man says, "Oh, I'm not married!"

----------- Today's saying or thought -------------------------

One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.


 The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the story of George Washington chopping down his father's cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the truth. The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and the shocked child protested that George Washington had not been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!" ---------------

That story inspired the Outhouse Races on Lakeelse Lake in northern BC in the 60's and early 70s. It seems the people living there now are not as adventurous as we used to be. Instead of paddling a 4 foot x 4 foot ( 1.2 m x 1.2 m ) raft with a 6 foot high outhouse on it across the lake, they now have a wine tasting party and raffle off a boat.

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.

One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the Christmas
gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida .

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, �And I had a large theater built in the house."
The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama only has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote:
� Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.
Thanks anyway."
"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift.
The chicken was delicious.. Thank you so much."

Love, Mom


Some Entertainment

A rather bookish young man goes into a whorehouse to seek entertainment. He goes up to the madam and says, "Madam, I'd like woman for the evening."
The Madam says, "Sir, I'm afraid all the girls are taken tonight, but if you'd care to, I'm available."
So the guy and the madam go into a bedroom and get undressed. As he takes off his clothes, she looks him over and she notices that, flaccid, he's only two inches long.  But then the guy says, "Rise, Caesar!" And he grows to a full 12 inches.
So they have a great time, and after about five hours the madam is very impressed.

"Sir," she says, "this has been one of the most pleasurable evenings of my life. I was wondering if you'd mind if I called the girls in so they could have a look at you. You're really something special, you know."
But the guy says, "No, madam, no. I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him!”


Nerd Alert

Every Friday afternoon, a mathematician/physicist goes to a bar. He sits in the second-to-last seat and turns to the last seat, (which is always empty) and asks a girl (who isn't there) if he can buy her a drink.
The bartender, who is used to weird university types, shrugs but keeps quiet. However, when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, and his curiosity gets the better of the bartender. He says, "I apologize if this strikes you as a stupid question, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool. Why do you persist in asking out someone who's not even there?"
The university nerd replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will implode and a girl might suddenly appear there."
The bartender raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know... she might say yes."
The nerd laughs. "Yeah, right—like THAT could happen!"



A guest at dinner noticed the small family dog looking hungrily at every bite she took. Finally she took a small piece of meat from her plate and held it up for him.

"Speak!" she said to the dog.

The dog answered, "Under the circumstances, I hardly know what to say!"



Trying to sell ads for my high-school yearbook, I approached my father, who owned a house-painting business with my two brothers. My father agreed to purchase an ad and said I should ask my brother Jack to write it.

"We're too busy now!" Jack protested. "With an ad, we'll just get more work."

"Jack," I replied, "Dad said you have to write the ad."

The next morning, Jack handed me his copy. It read, "John J. Palmer & Sons, Painting Contractors. For easy work, call the sons. If it's hard, call Pop."




Jokes - Funny & Beautiful Pictures / LOVE
« on: May 27, 2016, 01:19:51 AM »
If someone really loves you; they wouldn't let you slip away - no matter how hard the situation may be.




The rural kids in the 50’s rode bikes to school.  You took whatever path was best for you.  This lad looks like
he is carrying a string of Christmas lights, but it doesn’t look like winter.  Wonder what’s going on!

Camping out in 1918.

This was the 30’s, and this sharecropper’s son was working behind the plow, barefoot and all.  You can bet there was a mule on the front of that plow.

This couple pose in an early version of American Gothic, with a groundhog killed on their Manchester farm. It's dinner!
Note: Photo taken circa 1914, from a family photo album.

Standing over one of her many trophy mule deer, subsistence-and-sport huntress “Gusty” Wallihan appears every inch the frontier matron with her dressy bonnet,
prairie-pattern cartridge belt, floral-embroidered gauntlets, hunting knife, and Remington-Hepburn rifle.  1895

At least this one won’t be quite as dangerous as the old single wheeled models.  Look in the trailer over the
back wheel.  They have their baby in there!

This was the approved way to change the street lamps in 1910.  Cool!

A single Paddy Wagon.  Never knew they had such a vehicle!  This is way cool.

Here is an early motorhome, built in 1926.  I think this is so very cool looking!  I’m surprised the light chassis would handle it.

We’ve all been aware of the traditional tent wagon.  This is a tent vehicle built in 1910

These are vintage treadmills in the 1920’s.

This is a 1920’s refrigerator.  Only the elite could afford such a thing, and most still had the old ice boxes.

A hair dryer in the 1920 Salon.  What a contraption!

Chester E. Macduffee next to his newly patented, 250 kilo diving suit, 1911

A postcard from the 1800’s advertising a knife throwing act with the traveling circus.
How would you like that job?

A Strongwoman balances a piano and the pianist on her chest.  1920
That’s some chest that can do that!

London, in the 1920’s, this was a telephone engineer.  What a job!

Two young girls in a West Germans street chat with their grandparents in the window of their home in the Eastern sector, separated only by a barbed wire barricade.
It was a common occurrence for families, who had once only lived on the opposite side of the street from one another, to become separated by the ever growing Berlin Wall.

A Gibson Girl in her corset in the early 1900’s.  Those poor women.  This was one fad
that really hurt a lot of women for life.

Lillian Russell. A plus size beauty in the late 1800s. She was around 200 lb at the peak of her career.
She was considered "The American Beauty."  Weighwatchers would want to enroll her today!

Happy friday


Jokes - Funny & Beautiful Pictures / ANIMALS
« on: May 26, 2016, 12:29:52 AM »

Jokes - Funny & Beautiful Pictures / BEAUTY
« on: May 25, 2016, 09:32:43 PM »

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